wow... Now that's a sentence from one fucking judgmental person!!!
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Brutally Honest
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I spent the whole day thinking about something that happened yesterday, and as a result, I think I came to a very surprising conclusion, someone said something to me few hours ago, "wow... Now that's a sentence from one fucking judgmental person!!!", those were his words, I wasn't hurt by him because he is one of those people I really trust. I'm really tired of trying to act happy and fulfilled, for I am not. I haven't been genuinely happy for a long time, I automatically draw a smile on my face so people would not notice what is wrong with me and to avoid their questions and queries. I can't talk about it to my family because I don't like to feel weak, and to show them that I need help, and now I'm sure my sis is going to read this post, so I'll just deny everything. It is hard to admit that you need someone when you have been independent most of your life, my mom said that she never felt that I was around, ofcourse she meant that in a positive way, she says that I am not demanding and it was easy to raise me. I am not a judgmental person, at least I try not to be, I just think the worse in people sometimes so I won't have to open up. It is my defense mechanism. I know it is something that I have to solve myself, but i'm just tired of standing on my own, I guess having a shoulder to cry on is what I need at the end. |
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