“When I came here I used to think like you do now. I thought I can never spend my life in this country, that I should finish my training and go back home. I was mistaken. Soon you will get used to living here, to all the conveniences and all living standards. You gradually get used to being away from Syria. When you visit your family in summer, you’ll feel estranged in your own country. The difference that you are trying to minimize now will be magnified a hundred times. You will discover that you will never be able to go back”

“In the States you can get a good job, make good money and afford a decent life. You can rent a nice apartment and buy a car; and within a few years you will be able to buy a beautiful spacious house. You will send your kids to good schools and colleges. On vacations you can travel, have a good time and see the world. Tell me… can you do this in Syria?”

“Should I be worried about raising my kids? Come on! Don’t tell me it’s better to raise your kids in Syria. Here it’s a much better atmosphere. In Syria everybody learns to cheat, lie and to bribe. It’s how people survive there. And let me tell you something, my relative was there last week and he told me that every girl has a boyfriend and every guy has a girlfriend- or more! It’s just like in America! Can you believe that I do not allow my children to watch Arabic channels? All music video clips are nothing but shows of nudity and sexual symbolism. Did you see that girl… what was her name? Dana? I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her video clip. In America they never broadcast anything that is not suitable for children until late night hours, and they only do so after giving proper warnings. And one more thing, if you raise your kids here, they will get good education at least. Look at our schools for God’s sake!”

“Here you are respected for what you are not for what you have; for who you are not for who your parents are. Nobody can steal your opportunities because he has a wasta. Nobody can violate your rights because his father is an army officer. You know what? After a while you will discover that you’d prefer to stay here and leave Syria for corrupted officials and their offspring! Like we say here, let them have the whole cake!”

“What does Syria mean to me? Syria is family. That’s it. My family is the only thing that connects me to Syria. If they come here, I’d have nothing and nobody back there. I’d even have no reason to visit or spend my vacation there.”

“Indeed, as Arabs, we are not as comfortable in the US as we were before 9/11. Things have changed a little bit. But if you keep quiet, if you respect the country you live in, if you are diplomatic rather than arrogant, you will be okay. There is no place in the world where there is absolute freedom of speech, and don’t try to tell me that you have more freedom of speech in Syria!”

“We lived in a culture of fear, and this affected our personalities. It took me years to get rid of all the years of fear. In Syria you feel afraid from your teachers, your parents, the traffic policeman, the grocer, the taxi driver, the government employee, the mukhabarat, everybody. You learn to be afraid and you teach your children to be afraid. Our children deserve a better opportunity, don’t you think so?”

“Oh look at the way people talk about each other in Syria! People there like mazaher… everything they do is intended to satisfy the eyes of others and avoid their harmful chatter. People just want to see and be seen. I have many friends in Damascus who have never read a magazine but they never miss an issue of Layalina! People here don’t have time to watch you and observe everything you do. They just leave you alone. And let me tell you something, everybody here is very friendly and nice. In Syria, everybody hates everybody. When I was in Damascus my family fought with the neighbors everyday!”

“Life here is so hectic. There is a lot of stress, but it’s not like the stress you encounter in Syria on a daily basis. We don’t have those small annoyances that you find in Syria… I mean the kind of things that can ruin your day and always keep you on the verge of explosion. You don’t find someone parking in the middle of the driveway and you don’t fight with taxi drivers. You don’t quarrel with people jumping the queue and you don’t have to tolerate the rudeness of the guards and chauffeurs of your VIP neighbor.”

Disclaimer: I have rephrased arguments I heard from Syrian-Americans I met here. I am not endorsing any of the opinions expressed above. I actually disagree with most of them. My opinion is to follow.